Anger can be negative OR positive

Anger is usually mentioned in a negative way - a referral mentions Anger Management issues when I see confusion, frustration with circumstances or sense the pain being masked. Anger is just an emotion, it's how it is expressed that causes problems if not positively expressed. Plus, I see that Anger can be a positive emotion to feel. Anger offers energy, motivation to assert your self-worth and stand with confidence. Well channelled, healthily expressed Anger gives control back to you, helps you survive and thrive after Bullying or even Domestic Abuse and that's what has been successfully learned by my Clients at www.PagodaCounselling.com

Faced with Clients who have experienced Bullying or Domestic Abuse it dawned on me that there was a tool to help them build and reclaim their self-esteem, confidence and worth.

There was a pair of big eyes, filled with trepidation, hesitation when I suggested the person feel 'Indignation'. What are you wanting from me?? What does that mean? Using a real example, I suggested what 'Indignation' might look like, if complaining about a pair of shoes that had fallen apart... facial expressions, tone of voice, words used and body language.

Feeling INDIGNATION feels better than feeling victimised

I started to encourage channelling 'Indignation', a form of anger but indignation can be expressed positively and with minimal effort from you... whether challenging a retailer for a refund or exchange of faulty goods or simply realising that you can choose not to accept what a bully thinks you will accept, any more.

"I have done nothing to deserve this treatment... Maybe others will accept this situation, I will not (anymore)!... This is unacceptable..."

Trying skill rehearsal in the Therapy Room, skill could be learned, practiced and it was transformative - voice tone became less hesitant, deeper and confident; the body language demonstrated more confidence by becoming physically bigger with head up, standing up straight with arms unfolded, by sides, shoulders relaxed. Clients became more engaged, demonstrative in conversation with use of hand gestures and alert facial expressions.

Guiding 'Molly' to feeling a greater sense of Self-Worth, they felt enabled to accept a new job challenge that could be the next step in an exciting career trajectory...

Now, Indignation has increased self-confidence, worth...LET GO of the victimisation...REDUCE the Felt Power Held by Your Tormentor

Credible Source Suggests -

Harvard University, Harvard Medical School published a paper 'Anger Management: How To Handle Your Volatile Feelings In A Skilful Way' in 2023. The paper amongst many things, suggested people who can express empathy and forgiveness tend to experience greater emotional regulation, feel calmer... this is not about letting others who have hurt you 'get away with it' but letting hurt go... "well, they must be really unhappy to behave as they do... but that is not my problem to solve, I have my own life to live..."

If you wish to reclaim your self-worth and would like someone to be with you, giving encouragement, support at your pace - you can contact me www.pagodacounselling.com and I do offer a 20 minute free telephone conversation for you to see, feel if we could work well together at www.pagodacounselling.com